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Post by Cyclops on Feb 10, 2008 17:01:39 GMT -5
"Yes, come this way you two. No need to go back out in the cold we'll just cut through the back room." Harold said as he led the pair of mutants through the back of the organic food store and into the storeroom of the bookstore. "Trudy, where are you hun? I have an old friend here to see you."
The bookstore had a cramped feel to it. Especially the storeroom, but even out front the place had shelves and shelves of books that reached all the way to the ceiling. It was as if the carpentry that was so polished and refined in the food store, had obviously been practiced here. The smell of musty books was overcome the closer they got to the front of the store, by the inviting aroma of freshly baked oatmeal cookies. "I'm here, up front." Trudy's voice called back to them.
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Post by Ember on Feb 10, 2008 17:21:02 GMT -5
Aideen followed Cyclops and the old hippie guy to the back of the storeroom holding the stiff paper bag of groceries in her arms. The olive jar and large carton of rice milk weighed to much to just let it simply hang on one arm. The bookstore was small, but Aideen liked it. She could spend hours in here reading. Then her troubles wouldn't feel so hard on her then. But then again, the guilt never left Aideen. She just tried to concentrate on other things, but it has been failing thus far. Picking out rice milk and Spirulina tablets will only occupy one's mind for so long.
Aideen moved the groceries to one arm allowed she slender now ungloved hand reach out and touch some on the old leather bound books on the shelves. Books and school. That would be all she could do now. Aideen couldn't allow herself to get closer to anyone else. She will stick to books. She can't hurt them and they can't leave her alone.
Aideen stood silently behind Cyclops and the hippie man and waited for him to be occupied before she stole a chance to look at the books.
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Post by Cyclops on Feb 10, 2008 17:40:07 GMT -5
Seeing her switching hands to touch the books and knowing how she must want to get away from the 'old people', Scott thought a quick introduction and then she could wander around. "So this place has got more books now than I can remember. Hey I'm sorry, let me introduce you. Trudy, Harold, this is one of my students Aideen. Aideen, this is Mr. and Mrs. Barnaby. They saved me and an old friend when we were just students, they are long time supporters of the school and the student body. This is one of the 'safe houses' here in town, so you can relax." Scott smiled.
"Oh, yes dear" said Trudy. "Have a cookie. Oh, sweet child put your bag down here and have a look around. You have the look of someone who loves a good book, we can smell our own kind don't you know." The woman was older, but still well put together, she obviously hadn't let herself go to waste.
"So tell us Scott- how is that young lady who you were so fond of, the red head. What was her name?" Harold asked.
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Post by Ember on Feb 10, 2008 18:20:34 GMT -5
Aideen looked up at them and nodded politely as Cyclops explained their relations. She said a very quiet hello and politely took a cookie from the nice older lady. It was warm and did taste quite nice. Once they started speaking, Aideen slipped away, very tempted to look at the books. These weren't all shiny and laminated like todays books were. Most were bonded in leather and still had painted on gold titles. There were also quite a bit of paperback books as well.
Aideen looked up and down the shelves and her fingers found the title Beowulf the Warrior. She hadn't read this book since she was very young. It was her favorite till her Uncle took it away from her when he said that it was an unnecessary distraction from her training. He still hadn't returned it. Aideen set her groceries on the floor and sat next to them with the leather bound book and brought her knees up quietly. There was no way she could afford it, but she will come back when she has enough. Aideen opened the first page and began reading, desperate to leave the painful and lonely world she was in. At least she could be away for a short while as Cyclops and the older couple talked.
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Post by Cyclops on Feb 12, 2008 11:19:02 GMT -5
Scott shied away from the conversation about Jean, he didn't want to go into details, and besides the last time he'd spoken to these people was maybe a decade or more ago. He steered the conversation to more amiable things and asked about their businesses, their health, and their families.
The talk was pleasant and it gave him time to clear away thoughts of the school and the losses they were all feeling. He had himself given the order that had sent Nightcrawler to his death. He'd known death intimately and experienced the loss of loves and companions before. Not that he was calloused to the feeling, but he could hardly say that he was solely responsible for the loss of another life in this same way before and the feelings inside him were tearing away at him.
He had been friends with Kurt for many years and he wished there had been another way to have handled the situation, but in that moment he had no time to decide on another order to give. The safety of the students overrode the need to protect his friend. If he could have done it himself, made the sacrifice of his own life to save the many, he would have done so gladly. His heart was so burdened that his words although light carried an underlying sadness that Trudy picked up on immediately. She handed him a cookie as Harold placed a hand on his shoulder.
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Post by Ember on Feb 12, 2008 11:50:42 GMT -5
What! we of the Spear-Danes of yore days, so was it That we learn'd of the fair fame of kings of the folks And the athelings a-faring in framing of valour. Oft then Scyld the Sheaf-son from the hosts of the scathers, From kindreds a many the mead-settles tore; It was then the earl fear'd them, sithence was he first Found bare and all-lacking; so solace he bided, Wax'd under the welkin in worship to thrive,... Aideen leaned against the bookshelf quietly reading the book that captured her heart and imagination as a child. Granted, this wasn't exactly a typical book for a young child to have read, but Aideen was so enchanted King Arthur so much that this story (more of a very long poem) fascinated her and fueled her imagination. The stories of men so brave and full of chivalry and honor took her away from this cold world full of hurt where honor no longer existed into a world from a dream. They showed what a true warrior was like; how they thought, what they believed in and valued. She knew that this was the oldest existing story ever written in Old English and embodied the true meaning of a warrior. As Cyclops spoke to the nice older couple, Aideen hugged her knees to her chest as she continued reading the book. In the burgs then was biding Beowulf the Scylding, Dear King of the people, for long was he dwelling Far-famed of folks (his father turn'd elsewhere, From his stead the Chief wended) till awoke to him after Healfdene the high, and long while he held it, Ancient and war-eager, o'er the glad Scyldings: Of his body four bairns are forth to him rimed; Into the world woke the leader of war-hosts Heorogar; eke Hrothgar, and Halga the good; Heard I that Elan queen was she of Ongentheow, That Scylding of battle, the bed-mate behalsed...Few men like the brave and chivalrous Beowulf still existed. Too few in Aideen's opinion. And because of her stupidity and foolishness, one of the greatest she had ever had the honor to meet was dead. Swallowing the lump in her throat, Aideen continued reading quietly, hoping to read as much as possible before Cyclops announced for them to take their leave.
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Post by Cyclops on Feb 13, 2008 22:13:26 GMT -5
Declining the plate of cookies with a smile, Scott asked how much for the book that his youngest Team Leader was enjoying. He paid for it without her seeing and called out "Hey girl you ready?"
He had spent many years dealing with the responsibilities of leadership and was not now about to start crying in his cheerios over a life he'd accepted years ago. His place at the helm of the X-Men was one he treasured and hated. He loved to be the one who took care of everyone, but hated the fact that any mistake was his alone to deal with.
Was it going to prove to be a mistake for this young girl to lead a team, well if so it wouldn't be the first he'd made. He was pretty confident that she could handle herself and the book would be his way of saying 'thanks' to Aideen for being such a stand up individual.
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Post by Ember on Feb 13, 2008 22:56:01 GMT -5
Aideen was completely engrossed in her book and her attention only shifted when she heard Cyclops raise his voice. She looked up at him just as the old cash register closed. He must have bought something. Not that she blamed him of course there were so many amazing books here and she could probably stay there all day without a single complaint.
Rising quietly and gracefully to her feet, Aideen kept her guarded dark eyes on the book and she closed it reluctantly. One day she would come back here and buy the book when she had the money. She placed it carefully back on the shelf and picked up her groceries. Now she wouldn't have to go into the kitchen for awhile. It was too early to go there and it hurt her every time she looked at the table and could almost see Logan leaning against it with a cigar in his mouth sipping that high quality beer he liked. Aideen felt her heart constrict again thinking about him. Now not only the only one who seemed to really give a damn about her not cause he had to, but just cause he did, was gone, Aideen would have to live with the shame of what she had done for the rest of her life. Her heart proved to only hurt her, so why use it?
Quietly, Aideen walked up to Cyclops and the older couple. "It was a pleasure meeting you," she said very quietly in her soft polite voice as she waited for Cyclops to bid his goodbyes. She would need to thank him for taking the time to take her out. It was really nice of him since he probably had much better things to do.
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Post by Cyclops on Feb 13, 2008 23:20:15 GMT -5
"Good book?" Cyclops asked her. "Saw you reading it, thought you might want it, so I got it for you. A sort of thank you to my 'go to girl'. I appreciate you taking charge of your team, and I wanted to get it for you. Go grab it and I'll meet you outside" Scott said and walked out waving to Trudy and Harold.
"See ya soon, I hope." he said to them.
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Post by Ember on Feb 14, 2008 0:10:16 GMT -5
It was a good thing Aideen had excellent reflexes or she wouldn't have been able to catch her bag of groceries as she nearly dropped them from surprise. He got her a gift for doing her duty? Why though? She only did what was asked of her, like anyone else would. She deserved no gift. If Cyclops had known what she had done though, he wouldn't be giving her anything. If he knew that because of her, he lost a friend and a colleague, Cyclops would probably either have her in the room with Haven or send her back home to her Uncle. And that life was very different from the life she had here.
Almost robotically Aideen walked to the place where she put her book and took it down as commanded. She nodded goodbye to the couple, who looked at her seemingly confused by her reaction. It was an odd reaction, that much was true. Aideen looked more heartbroken than before almost. She was getting gifts instead of dealing with the consequences for her horrible and foolish action.
Aideen walked up to Cyclops with the book still in her hand. "Sir...I... I can't accept this," she said in a shaky soft voice. "Please sir... I was just doing my duty. I thank you but I have not done anything to deserve this really," She said in the same quiet and almost frightened voice. When Aideen was growing up, showing any type of emotion was frowned upon to her uncle. She wasn't allowed to laugh or cry openly. She did once shed a tear when she was very young... for what she didn't remember. The only thing that stuck to her mind was the hours of combat practice she was forced to participate in even at the young age of six. Eleven years later and she still had not shed a tear, for the lesson her uncle taught her stuck in her mind. But right now, after all she had done because of her foolishness... she had brought the fight to her fellow students, getting them all injured badly in the process. She was responsible for the death of the only person who really cared for her, and the one she cared for was gone forever. And for all that Cyclops wanted to give her a gift?!
It was too much even for Aideen to bear. Her large guarded dark eyes slipped for a moment to show her pain as she began shaking. And this time it wasn't from the cold, but from her guilt and the swirl of emotions that were making themselves known in her.
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Post by Cyclops on Feb 14, 2008 1:07:01 GMT -5
"You do deserve it. I want to get it for you" Cyclops looked at her as she stood there. "Why wouldn't you want it?" He saw her starting to shake and didn't know why.
"Are you O.K.?" he asked her. "I'm proud of you taking charge of your team and also of you being as responsible as you are. Is there something you're not telling me?" He wanted to reach out to her and pull her into a big hug. She looked so forlorn, but that wasn't his style. Scott was a little to stiff and he feared that if he did that he himself might break down and cry, so he stood there trying to get her to open up and not wanting to seem like a jerk.
"It's alright I guess if you don't want it today, Trudy will hold it I'm sure. You can come back for it. I just, well, it looked like you were so happy then reading it, I just wanted to give you a chance to take that happiness with you is all." He turned and walked to the door of the shop, pushing the door open and letting in the cold of the overcast winter day.
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Post by Ember on Feb 14, 2008 10:44:27 GMT -5
Why the hell was he being so nice to her? Had no one guessed? Had no one wondered how Aideen had come across Mystique in the woods? Why hadn't anyone figured out why Sabretooth had a set vendetta against her? Everyone had been treating her like she was some kind of a hero or something. They didn't understand, she was no hero! Aideen was no better than a murderer. She had led Logan to his death. She was the reason he was gone and everyone felt such a loss. And that's why she was alone.
For the first time since the battle, Aideen full on met Cyclops eyes for just a second before she looked away. The lump came back in her throat and she knew she couldn't go on letting everyone think she was some sort of a hero or a deserving student. Sure, Cyclops would probably be furious with her and him and Emma might see it fit to send her back to her Uncle's, which she wouldn't blame them for one bit. At least over there she would never be forced to use her heart.
The cold breeze made her shaking increase, though for once she barely felt the cold. She didn't notice it much, just as she barely noticed the older couple go to the back of the store, probably to tend to the fireplace. Aideen took a deep shaky breath and looked down at the floor. "Sir... I am responsible for Wolverine's death. It's... it's all my fault sir. He died because of me. I'm... I'm the reason why so many of my peers were hurt. I foolishly brought Mystique to them," she said now shaking violently because it was the first time she had admitted it out loud. Aideen looked up at Cyclops shamefully. "I am so sorry... so sorry. I didn't realize... I didn't want him to die. Not for me. I'm so sorry sir," Aideen said in a soft broken voice as her shaking became so violent that she did drop her bag of groceries on the floor. Pain, hurt, regret and guilt wracked her body as she realized how much more it hurt to say those words out loud. Aideen was... a bit scared actually. But of what she didn't know. She still wished that Haven hadn't gotten Sabretooth down. Then she would have gotten what she deserved.
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Post by Cyclops on Feb 14, 2008 22:26:20 GMT -5
Startled by her words, Cyclops stood shocked and was pulled from his daze by her dropping the bag of groceries a moment later. "Oh, oh ...." He bent down to help her to pick up her things and his hand went to his face.Closing his eyes behind his glasses he pulled them off and pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and middle two fingers.
He slid his ruby quartz glasses back on and opened his eyes looking up at her as he picked up her bag of groceries. "...you didn't do anything wrong Ember. You did what you should have done, from all accounts I've heard, you brought a wounded former classmate home, and that was an honorable thing to do. You had no idea it was a trap, that's why they did it, they are to blame. The Brotherhood is a cunning pack of dogs girl, so don't let yourself think that way."
Scott stood up and held her bag in his arm as he reached out a hand and placed it gingerly on Aideen's shoulder. He said "Wolverine did what he does best I'm sure, and if I know him he isn't really gone. I want you to cling to some hope of that, please know that he has an uncanny knack for turning up alive. I've thought we had lost him a hundred times before. I had wished it more than a dozen of those times to be for real." He confessed, not going into detail over his hatred of Wolverine in times past. Love triangles were not something to discuss in musty bookshops on cold winter mornings when the topic of the day was death.
"I believe he's still alive out there somewhere, but where is anybody's guess. I just don't understand how he would have been gone for so long." Scott was just allowing the previous days events to fall into a chronological order in his mind. Trying to take all of the bits of the story he had and figure out a plan. It was what he himself did best.
"We could take a look for him when we get back, I would have liked for you to have said something sooner, please promise me you will from here on out. It's important to tell you family when one of the flock has fallen." He pulled her close to him to comfort her. Allowing a moment for them to gather themselves, warriors thinking about a battle past. Then he said "This happened in the woods? Am I right? Beyond the hedge maze? If so and if he's alive like we both want to believe then he's probably out in the canyon beyond the trails. It might explain why he didn't get home yet. Could be lying at the bottom of that fall healing himself back to make the hike home."
He looked into her face as he pulled her back from his embrace. "You ready to ride? This time with a purpose!"
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Post by Ember on Feb 14, 2008 23:12:59 GMT -5
No outrage, no yelling, no fury. Instead Cyclops tells her its not her fault and hugs her. A hug. Aideen had only been hugged maybe twice in her life, and she . Both times by James. And now she just told him that she was the reason Wolverine was gone and he hugs her! Normally she should have pulled away or stiffened up, but she just had no more strength to. Aideen allowed herself to be pulled into the embrace, still unfamiliar with the feeling of comfort. Her shaking stopped just a bit. She listened to him intently, still not believing that she had gotten to her breaking point all because he wanted to buy her a book. It was a bit odd when he mentioned that he wished Logan gone. They seemed pretty tolerant of each other at the Christmas party. But then again Aideen knew that the teachers had known each other for years.
When Cyclops pulled back she looked up at him with some small tremors still coursing through her body. What the hell did he mean heal himself? She had seen Sabretooth rip his throat out and she knew no one could survive that. "I.. I went out on a run when I wasn't supposed to. Beast and Nightcrawler said I wasn't to train so soon. Sabretooth found me when I thought he was beating Haven. If Wolverine had not sacrificed his life for mine, I would have been dead. He got Sabretooth after him so I could get away," Aideen said very quietly swallowing the lump in her throat as the look on Wolverine's face still played in her mind. "I'm sorry for not telling you... I.. I just couldn't. It... hurt. Later when Sabretooth showed up and Wolverine didn't... I'm so sorry sir. I didn't want him to die for me, I wish he didn't," she said in her soft quiet voice. How could he be so sure Logan was alive? She had seen Sabretooth dig his talons into his throat. Why hope for something she knew wouldn't happen? He was gone and she was alone and the sooner she accepted that the better off she would be. It figures though. Just like James and her parents, anyone who ever gave a damn about her left her and she cared for left her in the end. Nightcrawler was gone as well, which ended another part of her stupid and flighty thoughts her heart entertained.
Aideen looked up at Cyclops not understanding why he was so forgiving. She deliberately disobeyed orders from her team leader and the school medic. If she hadn't gone on the run, Logan would never had to have saved her. And then he would still be alive and Aideen wouldn't feel so alone.
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Post by Cyclops on Feb 15, 2008 0:04:31 GMT -5
"I know you're sorry Ember, I know you made a mistake. You are a mutant Aideen, but you're still only human. We make mistakes." Scott said and he nodded slightly. "Don't keep any more secrets like this alright? Logan has a way of *ahem*-" he cleared his throat as he looked back to see where the Barnaby's had gotten off to.
"...getting better. You know, like your friend Ian. I wonder though." Cyclops said as her pushed open the door to the bookstore and held it open for her to exit before him "Why he's taking so long to get home."
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