Post by Frostbite on Sept 24, 2009 1:51:19 GMT -5
Lorelai washed her face off in the bathroom after Heather and k’8 had left, having stopped crying. She had an alright time with them; after the personal questions she didn’t want to answer it wasn’t so bad, and she had let k’8 do her hair. She felt slightly bad that although the time had been put into the corn rows, she wasn’t going to keep them in. Lorelai had always been a bit of a tenderhead, and the tight braids were uncomfortable. When her face wasn’t blotchy anymore, she reached up to her hair and carefully unbraided the rows, gently tousling her now crimped hair. It didn’t look bad, so she left it down.
Now that her face didn’t look like crap anymore, she decided she would just stop crying altogether. It wasn’t like there was anything left to cry out anyway, so when she reflected on her stupid choice and the consequences of it, there was just a sad yet blank look on her face, and she saw it when she looked at herself. Crimped strands of blue hair framed the sides of her face and slipped in front of her eyes, and she pushed them back only after she looked away. Though her face had improved, she still didn’t want to look at herself. Despite having a light and happy time not too long ago, she still felt shitty about what she had put herself into. K’8 seemed positive that it wasn’t so bad and that it would get better soon, but Lorelai wasn’t so sure. The previous night and just that morning was a big embarrassment to her, one of the biggest she ever experienced, and the things she knew she couldn’t undo bothered her as well.
It bugged her immensely that she just tossed herself away to be used, and especially when what she did should have been special. It never would be now, even if she just didn’t count it as mattering. She knew she couldn’t disregard it because everyone else would count it, and it would probably make them think lowly of her. She didn’t need them to do that, because she thought it of herself now. After she dropped herself onto her bed, she ran a hand over her forehead and into her hair with a heaved sigh as she just really couldn’t believe herself. How messed up am I to have gone to him last night? How stupid am I to have pulled everything I pulled the past few days? I have no excuses for my actions….but I give myself some credit for knowing them and admitting- to myself at least- that they are mine and I have to deal with them. And it’s no one’s fault but my own. I just pray that I don’t mess up anymore…maybe I was just messed up to begin with and maybe now I can just fix myself? she wondered to herself hopefully before scoffing at herself.
Lorelai knew what started all this, but what she didn’t know was whether she could really stop being so messed up. She just wanted to figure out some way to stop the horrid chain reaction and stop herself from doing anything else that would screw her up, especially the things she knew wouldn’t be good for her. She wasn’t sure who to blame- Chris or herself, though she always blamed him, and in a way, she thought it was fair.
Their relationship had been great, but of course like any other couple they did have their fights. Something that they clashed on was their thoughts differed about mutants. Chris was raised to be against them and wanted nothing to do with them, while Lorelai had been raised to think that mutants weren’t bad, just different and that there wasn’t really anything wrong with them. Something that Lorelai never liked about Chris was that he had been crude to mutants before, and she hated even more actually seeing him like that. There was an incident where a fellow schoolmate named Nate was found as a mutant, and Chris almost beat him up just for being a mutant. Lorelai was quick to stop him, and the only reason he did was because he was almost about to hit her instead of Nate. It put a slight strain on their relationship, but as long as it was never brought up they were fine, and he apologized for what he had been about to do.
Just before Lorelai had discovered her mutation, she and Chris had never been closer, in more ways than one. They had always kept around their friends and never truly cut themselves off from them, but they had fallen in love with each other, and considered themselves serious. They hadn’t gone all the way yet, because Lorelai hadn’t been ready, but Chris was willing to wait because he thought she was worth it. It had actually been nearing the time when she was starting to feel ready, that summer her powers came up, but obviously things were going to change. He hadn’t been there that day at the beach when it had happened, but he was starting to figure it out a couple weeks afterward when he didn’t truly buy that Lorelai dyed her hair blue to be different, or that she was sort of colder in body temperature. It had crossed his mind that she might have been sick, and he bothered her about it plenty of times, but she brushed it off as best she could until one day his suspicions got the best of them and he knew for sure when he saw running water from the kitchen sink freeze when she touched the faucet. He didn’t really want to, but he couldn’t believe what he saw and completely turned on her, accusing her of lying to him and feeling betrayed. Of course, Lorelai had no choice in the matter and only kept it from him to keep him from being like he was, but he wouldn’t have it.
Within a few days, he had spread the word and was able to manipulate everyone Lorelai knew against her, spreading lies that she would kill them in a second just because she had the power and felt like it, embellishing made up details that she would freeze them to death for whatever reason. She was heartbroken, and wondered if he still loved her despite what she was. She began to doubt it since he had turned his back on her completely and turned everyone she knew against her, effectively taking them away and leaving her friendless. Lorelai’s parents saw what happened, and felt horrible for her. They tried to be there for her, and were thankfully understanding of the situation. They didn’t quite like it, but it didn’t change the way they saw their daughter and were quick to get her away from the group of people who had caused her so much grief. The complete abandonment left Lorelai depressed and she withdrew into herself, locking away the personality she had grew while with the friends she once had, putting out a temporary shyness that would serve until she felt comfortable enough with people again to relax and be herself again. Being put with other mutants at the academy was good for her, and it was the perfect chance to start anew.
Lorelai stared at the ceiling as her mind played out everything as she remembered it, feeling the hints of butterflies in her stomach at the good parts, feeling the visceral and sick feelings at the bad parts, and knew it was from that point on that she went downhill. Already at the school she messed things up for herself, having gotten herself into what she wanted to be a rebound only to actually start feeling something before losing her cool in a moment’s notice. She knew now she ruined what would have been a great friendship, but she doubted there was nothing she could do about it now, because she didn’t think an apology, even a sincere one would suffice for anything. It only went more downhill after that, everyone saw it in the making and Heather and k’8 got to see the end result, which brought Lorelai to where she was now. She heaved a sigh as she continued staring at the ceiling with a blank, resigned expression, wondering how she could fix any of this, any of the friendships she had built, everything.
Now that her face didn’t look like crap anymore, she decided she would just stop crying altogether. It wasn’t like there was anything left to cry out anyway, so when she reflected on her stupid choice and the consequences of it, there was just a sad yet blank look on her face, and she saw it when she looked at herself. Crimped strands of blue hair framed the sides of her face and slipped in front of her eyes, and she pushed them back only after she looked away. Though her face had improved, she still didn’t want to look at herself. Despite having a light and happy time not too long ago, she still felt shitty about what she had put herself into. K’8 seemed positive that it wasn’t so bad and that it would get better soon, but Lorelai wasn’t so sure. The previous night and just that morning was a big embarrassment to her, one of the biggest she ever experienced, and the things she knew she couldn’t undo bothered her as well.
It bugged her immensely that she just tossed herself away to be used, and especially when what she did should have been special. It never would be now, even if she just didn’t count it as mattering. She knew she couldn’t disregard it because everyone else would count it, and it would probably make them think lowly of her. She didn’t need them to do that, because she thought it of herself now. After she dropped herself onto her bed, she ran a hand over her forehead and into her hair with a heaved sigh as she just really couldn’t believe herself. How messed up am I to have gone to him last night? How stupid am I to have pulled everything I pulled the past few days? I have no excuses for my actions….but I give myself some credit for knowing them and admitting- to myself at least- that they are mine and I have to deal with them. And it’s no one’s fault but my own. I just pray that I don’t mess up anymore…maybe I was just messed up to begin with and maybe now I can just fix myself? she wondered to herself hopefully before scoffing at herself.
Lorelai knew what started all this, but what she didn’t know was whether she could really stop being so messed up. She just wanted to figure out some way to stop the horrid chain reaction and stop herself from doing anything else that would screw her up, especially the things she knew wouldn’t be good for her. She wasn’t sure who to blame- Chris or herself, though she always blamed him, and in a way, she thought it was fair.
Their relationship had been great, but of course like any other couple they did have their fights. Something that they clashed on was their thoughts differed about mutants. Chris was raised to be against them and wanted nothing to do with them, while Lorelai had been raised to think that mutants weren’t bad, just different and that there wasn’t really anything wrong with them. Something that Lorelai never liked about Chris was that he had been crude to mutants before, and she hated even more actually seeing him like that. There was an incident where a fellow schoolmate named Nate was found as a mutant, and Chris almost beat him up just for being a mutant. Lorelai was quick to stop him, and the only reason he did was because he was almost about to hit her instead of Nate. It put a slight strain on their relationship, but as long as it was never brought up they were fine, and he apologized for what he had been about to do.
Just before Lorelai had discovered her mutation, she and Chris had never been closer, in more ways than one. They had always kept around their friends and never truly cut themselves off from them, but they had fallen in love with each other, and considered themselves serious. They hadn’t gone all the way yet, because Lorelai hadn’t been ready, but Chris was willing to wait because he thought she was worth it. It had actually been nearing the time when she was starting to feel ready, that summer her powers came up, but obviously things were going to change. He hadn’t been there that day at the beach when it had happened, but he was starting to figure it out a couple weeks afterward when he didn’t truly buy that Lorelai dyed her hair blue to be different, or that she was sort of colder in body temperature. It had crossed his mind that she might have been sick, and he bothered her about it plenty of times, but she brushed it off as best she could until one day his suspicions got the best of them and he knew for sure when he saw running water from the kitchen sink freeze when she touched the faucet. He didn’t really want to, but he couldn’t believe what he saw and completely turned on her, accusing her of lying to him and feeling betrayed. Of course, Lorelai had no choice in the matter and only kept it from him to keep him from being like he was, but he wouldn’t have it.
Within a few days, he had spread the word and was able to manipulate everyone Lorelai knew against her, spreading lies that she would kill them in a second just because she had the power and felt like it, embellishing made up details that she would freeze them to death for whatever reason. She was heartbroken, and wondered if he still loved her despite what she was. She began to doubt it since he had turned his back on her completely and turned everyone she knew against her, effectively taking them away and leaving her friendless. Lorelai’s parents saw what happened, and felt horrible for her. They tried to be there for her, and were thankfully understanding of the situation. They didn’t quite like it, but it didn’t change the way they saw their daughter and were quick to get her away from the group of people who had caused her so much grief. The complete abandonment left Lorelai depressed and she withdrew into herself, locking away the personality she had grew while with the friends she once had, putting out a temporary shyness that would serve until she felt comfortable enough with people again to relax and be herself again. Being put with other mutants at the academy was good for her, and it was the perfect chance to start anew.
Lorelai stared at the ceiling as her mind played out everything as she remembered it, feeling the hints of butterflies in her stomach at the good parts, feeling the visceral and sick feelings at the bad parts, and knew it was from that point on that she went downhill. Already at the school she messed things up for herself, having gotten herself into what she wanted to be a rebound only to actually start feeling something before losing her cool in a moment’s notice. She knew now she ruined what would have been a great friendship, but she doubted there was nothing she could do about it now, because she didn’t think an apology, even a sincere one would suffice for anything. It only went more downhill after that, everyone saw it in the making and Heather and k’8 got to see the end result, which brought Lorelai to where she was now. She heaved a sigh as she continued staring at the ceiling with a blank, resigned expression, wondering how she could fix any of this, any of the friendships she had built, everything.
