Everyone needs time alone

[Ember]

After a very hot shower, where Aideen had scrubbed every inch of herself clean with her favorite black raspberry vanilla body wash that though it got her in a bit of trouble, in a weird way she realized that because of it's enticing scent she was able to keep Sabretooth's attention on her and not everyone else. Aideen shuddered at the very clear memory of being pinned under Sabretooth's large body and his hand around her throat and smelling and feeling his breath on her skin.

She didn't think that memory would be easy to forget, but she sure as hell would try. Aideen came into the garage to work on her motorcycle, which usually relaxed her. Her shiny and clean thick hair was loose and resting on her shoulders and back and she was dressed in warm fitted jeans and a warm black fitted turtleneck sweater. She was very sore and there was a good bruise on the corner of her hairline where Mystique kicked her. Her throat had dark marks from Sabretooth's hand and she wanted to hide it from everyone.

Aideen took out her new tool kit and began to check over her bike to make sure no one has touched it since she had last been in here. She tried to concentrate on her bike as hard as she could, but it proved to be useless. She couldn't stop thinking about Logan. She felt like an empty shell when he hadn't come back after the fight. Sabretooth got him, and it was all her fault. Logan sacrificed himself to keep her safe from Sabretooth and she had foolishly taken Mystique, thinking it was Haven and put everyone in danger. How could she have been so stupid?! Now the only person she felt any sort of true comradeship with was gone. Granted, she did have Haven still and vowed to defend her to the very end. The girl saved her from being Sabretooth's little toy and meal. If she heard anyone giving Haven a hard time while she was here, Aideen would personally roast them.

After several try of trying to concentrate on checking the brake fluid, Aideen set down her tools and sat down bringing her knees to her chest. She would never tell anyone what happened in the forest and trusted Haven not to say the little bit she did see. In truth, Aideen didn't want to talk to anyone about anything. She should go and see Beast but being around people didn't really appeal to her at the moment and she was fine for the most part. Plus she knew Beast would ask about the marks on her throat and Aideen didn't want to explain.

She hugged her knees to her chest and leaned against the bike, thinking of how badly she had screwed up. In her short seventeen, almost eighteen years, Aideen had lost two people she cared about. And both times it was her fault. That was a thought that pierced through the very core of her heart and soul.

[Ember]

Aideen sighed and looked over at her bike. For the first time well ever even working on her bike didn't relax her. She was wracked with guilt and sorrow, of course she would never let anyone know how much she was hurting.

How she still remembered thinking that she was going to die at the will of Sabretooth. The way her heart clenched when she saw that Logan wasn't going to come back. She still couldn't understand why he would sacrifice himself for her sake. Her uncle always taught her that true warriors should be able to get themselves out of any situation without outside help. But Aideen was not a true warrior. And because she wasn't Logan was gone. He was the only person who she felt at ease with at the school. Everyone else always made her have her guard up and on alert, but she instantly trusted the gruff dangerous looking man. And now because of her stupidity he was gone just like James. It was odd because James and Logan were nothing alike yet she had the same feeling of trust with both of them. Perhaps she was not meant to have that type of relationship with anyone. Her uncle would be right then. She was meant to live a life alone as a warrior. He warned her time and time again about developing emotional attachments. But in those two cases Aideen couldn't help it. If she could stop those instant feelings she would. But not in this case and there was nothing she could do about.

What about the other teachers? They would surely be disappointed in her more than they already were if they learned that she was responsible for Logan's demise. Nightcrawler would surely be disappointed.

Aideen stood up and brushed herself off. She put away her tool set and left the garage with plans to wander on her own. She needed to think about what to do next.